Papi
And so it was, that Ekaette showed me a whole new world, a whole new world of se---- nevermind, I actually intended to say "a whole new world of sensible stuff" for some of you with pervy minds. Well, she taught me a lot of stuff, and I was a fast learner- do the maths or biology- whatever!. If at this point you still think I'll go into details of how we got down, "na to give you stool + shaving stick/black hair dye, 'cause you go old there". Ekaette was a wonderful female human specie, scratch that "wonderful", she was "OneDearFull", we just clicked and became beneficial friends without attached strings (hey, I know many of you have seen the movies "Friends With Benefits" & "No Strings Attached") *Unlooking*, then came Madam's Niece and I did what I was instructed to do, and that was to assist her at the supermarket, so everyday I got to the supermarket before her & left after her. We never really talked- scratch that! We never talked at all, all we did was greet greet & greet in fact it took three weeks before I knew her name, but I saw she had a close rapport with Ekaette with the way they chattered and laughed whenever they were together. Truth be told she was pretty & well shaped, picking between her and Ekaette was like asking a child to pick between two lovely variants of ice-cream, the only reason I would pick Ekaette was because, well, the Ekaette you know is sweeter than the Madam's Niece you don't know- that's all. Things went well, we went about our routine duties without issues, I was reading wide, learning stuff, trying to look good, dress well, kill the igbotic accent, you know- expanding my horizon and stuff. The presence of Madam's Niece didn't prevent Ekaette from "changing my oil" once in a while, I was certain Osy was always glad when Madam's Niece (I know I should stop calling her that) & me left the house.
The third week of Madam's Niece being with us, I had gone to the supermarket as usual, I had just finished attending to customers when the phone rang-
"Hello" the female voice at the other end
"Hello, JustShop Supermarket" I responded
"It's Tolu"
"Who?" I asked, she had that British accent
"Tolu Tola nau" she replied.
"Okay, customer, what can I do for you Ma?" The name didn't ring any bells, so I just assumed she was a customer
"Customer?" She asked
"Yes, you're one of our valued customers I suppose" I replied, why didn't she just go straight to the point.
"Papi, are you kidding or you don't know who is talking?" She asked again, she even knew my name.
"Errr, I'm sorry I don't know you" I replied.
"-sigh-, it's me, Madam's niece"
"Haaa, Madam I'm sorry- honestly I didn't know it was you- Sorry Ma, I didn't know that was your name Ma"
"Wow, Papi, wow- three weeks, you didn't know my name & you couldn't ask?"
"I'm sorry Ma"
"Hmmm, it's okay, I just had a bike accident, with minor bruises- I can't come to the supermarket, can you cope or will you just lock up & come home?"
"Sorry about the accident, I can cope Ma"
"Papi are you sure? Ehnnn I don't want trouble ooo, are you sure?"
"Yes, it's nothing"
"Okay ooo"
"Bye Ma"
"Quit calling me Ma, bye" she hung up.
When I got home that night, I went to meet Tolu- Madam's Niece in the living room, she wasn't there, so I went back to the kitchen to gist with Ekaette, the kitchen smelt different, you know that sweet smell of cake being baked- so sweet.
"Eky baby" I called out
"Papiloooo, papi bobo, how far? How market today?" Ekaette replied
"Good good, good sales"
"We thank da Lord" she said and giggled
"Abeg who dey do cake?" I asked
"Na me na"
"Who dey do birthday- you?"
"No ooo, me be december pikin, na Tolu own" Ekaette replied
"Who be Tolu?" I innocently asked
"Tolu Tola na, Madam sister"
"I swear to God, na today I know her name when she call me for morning"
"You no well ooo, Papi"
"Yes I know say I no well, but some names funny come sweet on top- imagine Tolu Tola, if we do elimination & substitution, e go just turn to ToTo, sweeeeeet" I said, beaming with smiles
"-clears throat- ToTo abi" I turned round to find Tolu standing behind me with arms akimbo.
"I'm sorry Ma" I was beginning to sweat even with the cool atmosphere, Ekaette was having a good time laughing her heart out, the expression on my face must have been priceless
"You don kill my name finish come dey call me Ma, I resemble old person for your eye?" Tolu replied, she could speak pigin -wow!-
"Sorry young Madam" I added
"What is with you Papi, don't Ma or Madam me"
"Okay M.. Sorry Ma, sorry for the Ma"
"You and Ekaette dey blast pigin since, I come now, you dey form english abi". Who would believe this was the same babe that spoke English with a british accent this morning.
"Sorry M..." I swallowed the remaining letter because the look on Tolu's face looked like -say it & die-
"Ekaette, how far with the cake" Tolu asked
"E remain small, you and your friends will love it" Ekaette replied
"I trust you, you no dey ever fail me"
"Haba Tolu, na your day tomorrow, this is the little I can do"
"What? For real, you're doing it free? Awwwnnn, that's so sweet, awwwn come here" they hugged, while I just stood there not knowing whether to look away or say something or do nothing
"Tolu, it's nothing, just my little birthday present to you- you be my person na" Ekaette added
"Thank you so much, I really appreciate, wow, you've just made my tomorrow sweeter- Mr. ToTo, what are you giving me tomorrow?" Tolu asked as she turned to face me, in this life, I have learned there will always be weird questions, of all questions to ask me, it's that one?
"I didn't know tomorrow was your birthday" I replied
"As you no take sabi my name baa, what do you even know about me?" Tolu asked
"You're Madam's Niece, your name is Tolu Tola & tomorrow is your birthday"
"You try, you do well, oya- living room straight, let's go and see how much gbese you have chopped in JustShop Supermarket"
"Gbese?" I asked
"Did I stutter?, Emm, Ekaette, we no leave you ooo, Mr. ToTo, hanlele to the living room"
We got to the living room, did all the counting, calculating, deductions and no loss was recorded
"So, tomorrow you'll go and pay this into the bank" Tolu said
"Bank?" I asked.
"Yes bank, oh I know the feeling, you no like queues abi- me too, but you're going"
"No, it's not that, I never go bank before" I said
"You're kidding right?"
"No, I'm not"
"Wow, then where do you keep all your money?"
"In my..." I stopped and raised my eyebrow
"Hahaha, don't tell me"
"And tomorrow's even Sunday"
"Oh, that's true, no qualms, on Monday, we'll go together to the bank and perhaps also open a bank account for you" she said
"Alright"
"I think we are done with these books and money, wait here, let me go and keep them upstairs- wait here, don't move" as she got up to leave, something dropped so she bent to pick it up, I couldn't help but notice she had a wide b- nevermind! It was wider than Ekaette's though (don't ask me what -_-).
When she got back, we started talking, she told me about herself, her life, her aspirations, then she made me tell her my story, we went back to the kitchen, for some strange reason I felt so excited narrating my ordeals in Lagos, especially living in the yard with the yardists (Refer to previous posts if you do not know about "Yard, Yardists & Yardism"), Tolu & Ekaette laughed till tears came out. After a very interesting, we all retired to our various bedrooms- wait!, Ekaette retired to my bedroom, the left over cream she used on the cake was used to teach me a lesson no guy would readily forget, the lesson was esplendida, elmagnifico, elclassico- it's not a lesson for young minds, so I won't talk about it here (you may ask me personally though).
Next day came, Tolu's birthday, I cleaned the dogs and their kernel, then fed them & my job was done, got back to my room to find Tolu sitting on my bed.
"Good Morning Ma, sorry ToTo- sorry Tolu"
"-sigh- one day you'll carry your fresh body to those dogs & they'll bite you" she replied, then I realized I was wearing only my boxer -wow- I keep getting into these situations
"No, they can't... Merry Birthday" I said
"Merry? Or Happy?" She asked
"Madam leave that thing, na same"
"Hahaha, you're a case, thanks all the same... Do you know any driver around?"
"No" I replied
"I'll have to drive myself then, or can you drive?"
"No I can't"
"As big as you are, no wahala, I'll drive myself" she said as she got up to leave.
Tolu went and dressed up, while Ekaette was busy dressing & packaging the cake, it was one big beautiful cake & I wondered how Tolu was going to drive without something happening to the cake on the car seat, because it looked very delicate -what is my business?- I was even feeling sleepy, I cleaned one of Madam's cars for her, when she was ready, Ekaette carried the cake to the car.
"Tolu, there'll be a problem ooo" Ekaette said
"What's that?" Tolu asked
"The cake needs to be carried, potholes and all- you know" Ekaette added, now that was my thought exactly.
"You're right ooo, what do we do?" Tolu asked looking from Ekaette to me, I just shrugged.
"Ekaette, go and dress up let's go together" Tolu suggested.
"Awww, Tolu I have a lot of cleaning & washing to do here". Ekaette replied, I just quietly turned to walk away.
"Papi, you have no excuse, please" Tolu pleaded. That wasn't my plan at all, my plan was to sleep when she left.
"Me?" I asked
"Uhn uhn, I didn't know your twin was here too" Tolu replied
"Papi, you sef go na, house no dey tire you?, go see as Unilag be, go mix with people" Ekaette advice
"Okay, let me bathe again, I'll be with you shortly"
"Don't keep a lady waiting" Tolu added with sarcasm in her voice. 15 minutes later I was ready, I wore a t-shirt, jeans & an all star footwear- so simple.
"You're ready? That was quick, did you bathe at all?" Tolu asked
"Yes na, when no be say I fall inside soakaway" I replied
"Hahahaha Oh my God, you're a case Papi, oya let's go- see how you look like one celeb"
We hit the road & for the cake's sake, it was a good thing I went with Tolu, she drove like a maniac, with the way she drove, my soul & spirit had long left my body, and I was pretty sure I had created a hole on the car floor from stepping on an imaginary brake. Finally we got to our destination, she introduced me to everybody & thanks to the movies I had been watching, playing the big boy/gentleman part was pretty easy, Tolu had a lot of friends- a lot of beautiful friends, but one particular one caught my eye, mind, even my whole body, her name was Adaeze, along with Ekaette & Tolu, this was another perfect beauty, I mean she was beautiful from her head to her toes, she had large eyeballs that were enchantingly beautiful (if you've seen the movie "Puss'n'Boots" the Antonio Banderas own, y'all know how Puss makes his eyes so he looks adorable & beautiful), yeah Adaeze had the beautiful version of Puss' eyes. I had eyes on her throughout and my unlooking skill wasn't good 'cause she kept catching me. We decided to go to the cinema, when it was mentioned, I felt elated 'cause I had never been to the cinema and I was so looking forward to the experience, before the cinema, we branched at a place close to the cinema called "Whitehouse" (So una think say na only una dey go chop there abi? I laugh in panya) to eat, well, the food was good, my only problem was the "addictiveness" (Yes there's a word like that, check Oxford Dictionary 3015 edition) was instant, the moment we got into the cinema, I wanted Whitehouse food again (it is not ogume abi, sebi Masonic Lodge is around that corner), anyway, I had never used an elevator before, there was no space for me, so I had to wait till it came down again, when I and some others entered, I noticed people pressed numbers and the thing moved, see ehn, that feeling of your intenstines moving is not funny feeling at all, I backed the door & people so they wouldn't see my expressions, I now made the mistake of pressing one particular button everytime & anytime the lift stopped and opened I would step out & the place would like the place I just left downstairs and I was like "wow all the floors have the same stuff like downstairs" -wait!- that was actually downstairs & that was like the 5th time, then I overheard two people tell themselves
"Let's use the stairs please" I followed at a distance, there were a lot of fine people in this building, all dressed up like it was some red carpet function, guys and babes alike. I climbed the stairs, then saw another step that looked different, the way people used it was different, the step moved, just like the ones in the movies -wow!- I felt there had to be a technic to use the escalator, so I stood for a while and studied, then I noticed the second escalator wasn't on, so I climbed that instead, barely halfway up, the thing started moving, I lost balance & the escalator escalated my escalating fall (If you laugh, I'll go spiritual on you)- see ehn I didn't lose balance because the escalator moved -no- I lost balance because I & the escalator were moving in different directions, can you imagine, and those mumus there were laughing at my frustrated self, not perturbed, I tried the second escalator, the struggle to steady myself was not of this world, after touring the whole building from bottom to top to bottom to top again, I finally located Tolu & my new crush Adaeze.
"Papi u were toasting babes abi?" Tolu asked
"Hmm, Tolu you don't know what I've been through, I'll gist you at home"
"Hehehe, okay" She laughed "Oya take this money, go and buy 6 batman movie tickets there, while I buy our hotdog & drinks" Tolu said, then I beckoned on her to come closer so I could whisper in her ears.
"The hotdog, ermm, biko is it dog meat?, because a naa m a ta anu nkita, I don't eat dog meat" I whispered in her ears, she burst into laughter
"Papi, you will not kill me ooo, no its not" she said, then winked at me.
Adaeze, the cinema, the lift, the escalator, now "hotdog", too many new things to handle in one day.
I walked to the counter to pay for our movie tickets.
"Yes what movie do you wanna watch" The lady behind the counter asked
"BAHTMA, I want to buy bahtma tickets" I told the lady, she smiled & collected the money, then one small boy came to my side and said
"I wanna wa'ch betmean, betmean"
I felt so ashamed of myself, you don't know why?- I'll tell you, go back up and read how I spoke to the attendant & how the small boy spoke. Tickets bought, hotdogs and drinks bought, we presented our tickets and were ushered into the movie hall, see ehnn my people experience is really the best teacher, took me a while to get used to the big screen & surround sound, that's how I kept dodging unseen bullets, punches & kicks, it was all reflex action (you dare not blame me, 'twas my naiv-- no, it was my first time), it was so intense I forgot I was sitting inbetween Tolu & Adaeze my crush.
Movies done, we did more dining and wining, then headed home, we dropped Adaeze off.
"So Tolu, prepare for me ooo, I'm coming on tuesday" Adaeze said
"Sure thing babes" Tolu replied
"Papi tell Mami goodnight nau" Adaeze said to me, WOW!!! She knew my name, called my name & spoke to me.
"Oh sorry, Goodnight Mam- Adaeze" I replied, I must have blushed in my eyes I'm sure, because my eyes felt red (don't ask me how its possible).
"Goodnight boo, see you on Tuesday" then -smack- on my cheek, Shush! It wasn't a slap, it was a kiss, I knew I was never going to wash that spot again.
"Hmmm Adaeze, oya goodnight, leave Papi for us" Tolu said
"Hehehe, he's our Papi na" Adaeze replied
"Ada byeeee, see you on tuesday, come with pizza ooo" Tolu said as she drove off, I looked back to look at Adaeze again
"Bros, calm down, tuesday's just next tomorrow & she'll be staying for a while, so you go see am tire" Tolu said to me
"No ooo..."
"Wetin wetin, you had eyes on her all day, you think I didn't notice, abegi, me sef be woman, u forget?"
And that was how my first outing with Tolu Tola aka Madam's Niece went, when we got home & I narrated my ordeal to Ekaette & Tolu, as usual, their laughter was epic. Looking forward to tuesday and the activities that'll be coming up, It's Vegas Baby- scratch that! It's Lagos Baby!!!!
The third week of Madam's Niece being with us, I had gone to the supermarket as usual, I had just finished attending to customers when the phone rang-
"Hello" the female voice at the other end
"Hello, JustShop Supermarket" I responded
"It's Tolu"
"Who?" I asked, she had that British accent
"Tolu Tola nau" she replied.
"Okay, customer, what can I do for you Ma?" The name didn't ring any bells, so I just assumed she was a customer
"Customer?" She asked
"Yes, you're one of our valued customers I suppose" I replied, why didn't she just go straight to the point.
"Papi, are you kidding or you don't know who is talking?" She asked again, she even knew my name.
"Errr, I'm sorry I don't know you" I replied.
"-sigh-, it's me, Madam's niece"
"Haaa, Madam I'm sorry- honestly I didn't know it was you- Sorry Ma, I didn't know that was your name Ma"
"Wow, Papi, wow- three weeks, you didn't know my name & you couldn't ask?"
"I'm sorry Ma"
"Hmmm, it's okay, I just had a bike accident, with minor bruises- I can't come to the supermarket, can you cope or will you just lock up & come home?"
"Sorry about the accident, I can cope Ma"
"Papi are you sure? Ehnnn I don't want trouble ooo, are you sure?"
"Yes, it's nothing"
"Okay ooo"
"Bye Ma"
"Quit calling me Ma, bye" she hung up.
When I got home that night, I went to meet Tolu- Madam's Niece in the living room, she wasn't there, so I went back to the kitchen to gist with Ekaette, the kitchen smelt different, you know that sweet smell of cake being baked- so sweet.
"Eky baby" I called out
"Papiloooo, papi bobo, how far? How market today?" Ekaette replied
"Good good, good sales"
"We thank da Lord" she said and giggled
"Abeg who dey do cake?" I asked
"Na me na"
"Who dey do birthday- you?"
"No ooo, me be december pikin, na Tolu own" Ekaette replied
"Who be Tolu?" I innocently asked
"Tolu Tola na, Madam sister"
"I swear to God, na today I know her name when she call me for morning"
"You no well ooo, Papi"
"Yes I know say I no well, but some names funny come sweet on top- imagine Tolu Tola, if we do elimination & substitution, e go just turn to ToTo, sweeeeeet" I said, beaming with smiles
"-clears throat- ToTo abi" I turned round to find Tolu standing behind me with arms akimbo.
"I'm sorry Ma" I was beginning to sweat even with the cool atmosphere, Ekaette was having a good time laughing her heart out, the expression on my face must have been priceless
"You don kill my name finish come dey call me Ma, I resemble old person for your eye?" Tolu replied, she could speak pigin -wow!-
"Sorry young Madam" I added
"What is with you Papi, don't Ma or Madam me"
"Okay M.. Sorry Ma, sorry for the Ma"
"You and Ekaette dey blast pigin since, I come now, you dey form english abi". Who would believe this was the same babe that spoke English with a british accent this morning.
"Sorry M..." I swallowed the remaining letter because the look on Tolu's face looked like -say it & die-
"Ekaette, how far with the cake" Tolu asked
"E remain small, you and your friends will love it" Ekaette replied
"I trust you, you no dey ever fail me"
"Haba Tolu, na your day tomorrow, this is the little I can do"
"What? For real, you're doing it free? Awwwnnn, that's so sweet, awwwn come here" they hugged, while I just stood there not knowing whether to look away or say something or do nothing
"Tolu, it's nothing, just my little birthday present to you- you be my person na" Ekaette added
"Thank you so much, I really appreciate, wow, you've just made my tomorrow sweeter- Mr. ToTo, what are you giving me tomorrow?" Tolu asked as she turned to face me, in this life, I have learned there will always be weird questions, of all questions to ask me, it's that one?
"I didn't know tomorrow was your birthday" I replied
"As you no take sabi my name baa, what do you even know about me?" Tolu asked
"You're Madam's Niece, your name is Tolu Tola & tomorrow is your birthday"
"You try, you do well, oya- living room straight, let's go and see how much gbese you have chopped in JustShop Supermarket"
"Gbese?" I asked
"Did I stutter?, Emm, Ekaette, we no leave you ooo, Mr. ToTo, hanlele to the living room"
We got to the living room, did all the counting, calculating, deductions and no loss was recorded
"So, tomorrow you'll go and pay this into the bank" Tolu said
"Bank?" I asked.
"Yes bank, oh I know the feeling, you no like queues abi- me too, but you're going"
"No, it's not that, I never go bank before" I said
"You're kidding right?"
"No, I'm not"
"Wow, then where do you keep all your money?"
"In my..." I stopped and raised my eyebrow
"Hahaha, don't tell me"
"And tomorrow's even Sunday"
"Oh, that's true, no qualms, on Monday, we'll go together to the bank and perhaps also open a bank account for you" she said
"Alright"
"I think we are done with these books and money, wait here, let me go and keep them upstairs- wait here, don't move" as she got up to leave, something dropped so she bent to pick it up, I couldn't help but notice she had a wide b- nevermind! It was wider than Ekaette's though (don't ask me what -_-).
When she got back, we started talking, she told me about herself, her life, her aspirations, then she made me tell her my story, we went back to the kitchen, for some strange reason I felt so excited narrating my ordeals in Lagos, especially living in the yard with the yardists (Refer to previous posts if you do not know about "Yard, Yardists & Yardism"), Tolu & Ekaette laughed till tears came out. After a very interesting, we all retired to our various bedrooms- wait!, Ekaette retired to my bedroom, the left over cream she used on the cake was used to teach me a lesson no guy would readily forget, the lesson was esplendida, elmagnifico, elclassico- it's not a lesson for young minds, so I won't talk about it here (you may ask me personally though).
Next day came, Tolu's birthday, I cleaned the dogs and their kernel, then fed them & my job was done, got back to my room to find Tolu sitting on my bed.
"Good Morning Ma, sorry ToTo- sorry Tolu"
"-sigh- one day you'll carry your fresh body to those dogs & they'll bite you" she replied, then I realized I was wearing only my boxer -wow- I keep getting into these situations
"No, they can't... Merry Birthday" I said
"Merry? Or Happy?" She asked
"Madam leave that thing, na same"
"Hahaha, you're a case, thanks all the same... Do you know any driver around?"
"No" I replied
"I'll have to drive myself then, or can you drive?"
"No I can't"
"As big as you are, no wahala, I'll drive myself" she said as she got up to leave.
Tolu went and dressed up, while Ekaette was busy dressing & packaging the cake, it was one big beautiful cake & I wondered how Tolu was going to drive without something happening to the cake on the car seat, because it looked very delicate -what is my business?- I was even feeling sleepy, I cleaned one of Madam's cars for her, when she was ready, Ekaette carried the cake to the car.
"Tolu, there'll be a problem ooo" Ekaette said
"What's that?" Tolu asked
"The cake needs to be carried, potholes and all- you know" Ekaette added, now that was my thought exactly.
"You're right ooo, what do we do?" Tolu asked looking from Ekaette to me, I just shrugged.
"Ekaette, go and dress up let's go together" Tolu suggested.
"Awww, Tolu I have a lot of cleaning & washing to do here". Ekaette replied, I just quietly turned to walk away.
"Papi, you have no excuse, please" Tolu pleaded. That wasn't my plan at all, my plan was to sleep when she left.
"Me?" I asked
"Uhn uhn, I didn't know your twin was here too" Tolu replied
"Papi, you sef go na, house no dey tire you?, go see as Unilag be, go mix with people" Ekaette advice
"Okay, let me bathe again, I'll be with you shortly"
"Don't keep a lady waiting" Tolu added with sarcasm in her voice. 15 minutes later I was ready, I wore a t-shirt, jeans & an all star footwear- so simple.
"You're ready? That was quick, did you bathe at all?" Tolu asked
"Yes na, when no be say I fall inside soakaway" I replied
"Hahahaha Oh my God, you're a case Papi, oya let's go- see how you look like one celeb"
We hit the road & for the cake's sake, it was a good thing I went with Tolu, she drove like a maniac, with the way she drove, my soul & spirit had long left my body, and I was pretty sure I had created a hole on the car floor from stepping on an imaginary brake. Finally we got to our destination, she introduced me to everybody & thanks to the movies I had been watching, playing the big boy/gentleman part was pretty easy, Tolu had a lot of friends- a lot of beautiful friends, but one particular one caught my eye, mind, even my whole body, her name was Adaeze, along with Ekaette & Tolu, this was another perfect beauty, I mean she was beautiful from her head to her toes, she had large eyeballs that were enchantingly beautiful (if you've seen the movie "Puss'n'Boots" the Antonio Banderas own, y'all know how Puss makes his eyes so he looks adorable & beautiful), yeah Adaeze had the beautiful version of Puss' eyes. I had eyes on her throughout and my unlooking skill wasn't good 'cause she kept catching me. We decided to go to the cinema, when it was mentioned, I felt elated 'cause I had never been to the cinema and I was so looking forward to the experience, before the cinema, we branched at a place close to the cinema called "Whitehouse" (So una think say na only una dey go chop there abi? I laugh in panya) to eat, well, the food was good, my only problem was the "addictiveness" (Yes there's a word like that, check Oxford Dictionary 3015 edition) was instant, the moment we got into the cinema, I wanted Whitehouse food again (it is not ogume abi, sebi Masonic Lodge is around that corner), anyway, I had never used an elevator before, there was no space for me, so I had to wait till it came down again, when I and some others entered, I noticed people pressed numbers and the thing moved, see ehn, that feeling of your intenstines moving is not funny feeling at all, I backed the door & people so they wouldn't see my expressions, I now made the mistake of pressing one particular button everytime & anytime the lift stopped and opened I would step out & the place would like the place I just left downstairs and I was like "wow all the floors have the same stuff like downstairs" -wait!- that was actually downstairs & that was like the 5th time, then I overheard two people tell themselves
"Let's use the stairs please" I followed at a distance, there were a lot of fine people in this building, all dressed up like it was some red carpet function, guys and babes alike. I climbed the stairs, then saw another step that looked different, the way people used it was different, the step moved, just like the ones in the movies -wow!- I felt there had to be a technic to use the escalator, so I stood for a while and studied, then I noticed the second escalator wasn't on, so I climbed that instead, barely halfway up, the thing started moving, I lost balance & the escalator escalated my escalating fall (If you laugh, I'll go spiritual on you)- see ehn I didn't lose balance because the escalator moved -no- I lost balance because I & the escalator were moving in different directions, can you imagine, and those mumus there were laughing at my frustrated self, not perturbed, I tried the second escalator, the struggle to steady myself was not of this world, after touring the whole building from bottom to top to bottom to top again, I finally located Tolu & my new crush Adaeze.
"Papi u were toasting babes abi?" Tolu asked
"Hmm, Tolu you don't know what I've been through, I'll gist you at home"
"Hehehe, okay" She laughed "Oya take this money, go and buy 6 batman movie tickets there, while I buy our hotdog & drinks" Tolu said, then I beckoned on her to come closer so I could whisper in her ears.
"The hotdog, ermm, biko is it dog meat?, because a naa m a ta anu nkita, I don't eat dog meat" I whispered in her ears, she burst into laughter
"Papi, you will not kill me ooo, no its not" she said, then winked at me.
Adaeze, the cinema, the lift, the escalator, now "hotdog", too many new things to handle in one day.
I walked to the counter to pay for our movie tickets.
"Yes what movie do you wanna watch" The lady behind the counter asked
"BAHTMA, I want to buy bahtma tickets" I told the lady, she smiled & collected the money, then one small boy came to my side and said
"I wanna wa'ch betmean, betmean"
I felt so ashamed of myself, you don't know why?- I'll tell you, go back up and read how I spoke to the attendant & how the small boy spoke. Tickets bought, hotdogs and drinks bought, we presented our tickets and were ushered into the movie hall, see ehnn my people experience is really the best teacher, took me a while to get used to the big screen & surround sound, that's how I kept dodging unseen bullets, punches & kicks, it was all reflex action (you dare not blame me, 'twas my naiv-- no, it was my first time), it was so intense I forgot I was sitting inbetween Tolu & Adaeze my crush.
Movies done, we did more dining and wining, then headed home, we dropped Adaeze off.
"So Tolu, prepare for me ooo, I'm coming on tuesday" Adaeze said
"Sure thing babes" Tolu replied
"Papi tell Mami goodnight nau" Adaeze said to me, WOW!!! She knew my name, called my name & spoke to me.
"Oh sorry, Goodnight Mam- Adaeze" I replied, I must have blushed in my eyes I'm sure, because my eyes felt red (don't ask me how its possible).
"Goodnight boo, see you on Tuesday" then -smack- on my cheek, Shush! It wasn't a slap, it was a kiss, I knew I was never going to wash that spot again.
"Hmmm Adaeze, oya goodnight, leave Papi for us" Tolu said
"Hehehe, he's our Papi na" Adaeze replied
"Ada byeeee, see you on tuesday, come with pizza ooo" Tolu said as she drove off, I looked back to look at Adaeze again
"Bros, calm down, tuesday's just next tomorrow & she'll be staying for a while, so you go see am tire" Tolu said to me
"No ooo..."
"Wetin wetin, you had eyes on her all day, you think I didn't notice, abegi, me sef be woman, u forget?"
And that was how my first outing with Tolu Tola aka Madam's Niece went, when we got home & I narrated my ordeal to Ekaette & Tolu, as usual, their laughter was epic. Looking forward to tuesday and the activities that'll be coming up, It's Vegas Baby- scratch that! It's Lagos Baby!!!!
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