50 Shades Of Papi
Okay, here we are again, I've been getting calls from the professional amebos, tatafos, ekes to drop the gist Papi had with Ekaette, after much pondering and careful consideration, I and the council of elders have decided, well, let's just forget what the gist was about, seeing as some things said are better left not talked about, I'll rather not relay our private convo to you all. Please return to what you were doing, thank you for your time. -lmao- una too like tatafo. Just so I can sleep well without the witches amongst you coming to disturb me in my sleep, I'll just give you excerpts.
A quick bath, then I made for the kitchen, the only thing on my mind was food, and Ekaette sure knew how to make her way to a man's heart through his belly.
"Ahn ahn, Papi, you sure say you baff so abi na rub & shine you do?" Ekaette asked
"Hahaha, but I no fall inside soakaway, why I go tey inside bafroom" I replied, then she laughed, there was something sweet about the way she laughed, it looked like all her body laughed along with her
"Papi, you be case, I swear... Oya sidon, make I serve you"
"What's for breakfast?" I asked
"Wait, make I serve you, you go know"
She served the food and I must say, the word "sumptuous" was an understatement, the meal was Semo with extra-rich edikankong (pardon the spelling, the language itself is sweet, but hard), the food was so good that it deserved my undivided attention, and undivided attention did it get, even my ears gave the food more attention than to what Ekaette was saying, infact whatever she was saying sounded like- "Weeen ween weeeen, ween weeeeen" and throughout the meal, my response was just an intermittent "uhn", ask me what she said, I didn't know, meal done, I was too stuffed to even stand, so I just sat there, then Osy came in.
"Papi, how far, na you on gen yesterday night when Nepa carry light?" Osy asked
"Yes" I answered
"You wan dey do pass yourself abi, why you no wait make I on am or come call me make I on am" Osy with his usual blabbering, the mumu that was making crazy sounds in his room when I wanted to tell him to turn the gen on. I was even to stuffed to say anything to him
"Osy, anything do the gen?" Ekaette asked him
"No, but why he no take permission?" Osy answered, you people see why I called him a mumu.
"Permission to on gen Osy? Mbok you get sense at all?"
"You don dey take him side again abi, una don forget say Madam put me in charge, so gats know every every for this house" Osy replied, I didn't even have his time at all
"Osy, oya carry your food dey go" Ekaette said, Osy carried his food then stared at me
"Una two dey plant coup abi, my military instincts no dey fail me, I don dey suspect una tey tey- I ga ma eyes on you" Osy said
"Olodo, plant coup ko, harvest coup ni" I replied him, Ekaette burst into laughter, I stood up
"If no be this food wey I carry, I swear to God, I for deal with you today" Osy said, while hurriedly making for the door as I walked towards him.
"Papi, leave him, na agbaya, let's continue our gist" Ekaette added, it wasn't like I wanted to do anything to him anyway. We talked and talked and talked and talked, I found out she was an OND holder, what I didn't understand was how & why an OND holder would end up as a maid, well she said she was an orphan, Madam picked her up from the streets and trained her from secondary school up to her tertiary education, I asked her why she wasn't working, she said she had tried different places, but that the pay plus the stress wasn't worth it, she said what Madam was paying her was better, she could save to further her education since she didn't have responsibilities and all- (I know, this is boring gist, It's even boring me sef)
Ekaette asked me a very strange question, one I never anticipated, of all things to ask me- Papi
"Papi, where's your girlfriend" She asked, I had been asked all manner of questions before, but this particular one felt weird- "where's my girlfriend?" First off, who/what was a girlfriend?
"Girlfriend?" I repeated
"Ehnn, your girlfriend, abi you no get?" She asked again
"I no get" I replied, I had never thought about it, I had seen a lot of romance movies, but the thought of being in a relationship had never crossed my mind, 'cause I had no idea what people in relationships did (Don't blame me, blame my naivety), movies said people in relationships fight & kiss, just like they said there was superman -sigh- so, no believing the movies.
"Papi, big boy like you, why don't you have a girlfriend? Abi you dey lie give me ehn?" Ekaette
"Seriously, I no get, I never even get before" I replied, the look on her face was that of bewilderment
"Wait o, so you never do before?" She asked. "Do" do what? What did she mean?
"Do?" I repeated
"Yes na, you know, do" she made gestures I didn't understand, finger in hole like she was communicating to the deaf & dumb, then forward-backward movement of her waist like it was a dance or perhaps aerobics (Like I always say, don't blame me, blame my naivety)
"I don't understand" I replied, and that was the honest truth.
"Papi, mbok why you dey do like small pikin, like say you never touch woman before, abi you be virgin?" Ekaette queried.
Were guys too called "virgins"?, I thought only females had that title (If you as much as laugh at my naivety or stupid ignorance, I'll go spiritual on you).
"Eky, I never touch woman before" I told her bluntly, she paused, looked at me, then shook her head.
"Wow" was all she could say, at that point, the food was taking it's toll on me, sleep was inevitable.
"Eky, thank you, make I go sleep small" I said as I made for the door
"Papi Papilo, oya na, we'll talk later" Ekaette answered.
Once on my bed, I thought about my discussion with Ekaette, I got to the "Do" part, then a puzzle began to form in my head, the previous day Osy had made a statement about Ekaette doing me, he had also said she would come back to him, wow! Could they be doing each other?, I drifted to dreamland and in the dream, There was a party & Ekaette had this provocative dance steps, the music in the dream was so loud that even when I opened my eyes, I could still hear the music, wait!!!, there really was loud music and it was coming from Ekaette's room, it was unusually loud & disturbing, I got out of my apartment and went to Ekaette's, the door was open, so without knocking I entered and I met the most unusual sight I had ever -scratch that- never seen in my life, the beautiful Ekaette with her buxom body was naked and performing some kind of exercise on Osy, and the bed was making one rhythmic sound while Osy was making that weird sound. Ekaette looked at me and I wasn't sure if she was shocked or surprised, I just went straight to the entertainment system and turned down the volume of the music, I looked at them, they had stopped whatever they were doing & were just staring, Osy panting like a dog.
"Continue what you were doing" I said to them as I left her room.
It all made sense, the sounds from Osy's room yesterday night plus Osy's statement about Ekaette coming back to him, it all added up. At least now I understood what "Do" was.
The image of Ekaette's naked body would forever be in my mind, first I thought about her body, then I pictured her with Osy, I erased Osy, next I replaced Osy with Ekaette, I smiled at the thought, then another part of my body nodded in approval, that was queer, that part of my body only nodded when I woke up, I shrugged, body probably reacting to something.
Minutes later, Ekaette was in my room.
"Papi, my person, the music wake you abi?" She asked
"I been dey dream say you dey dance to the music, I come open my eyes dey hear the music" I replied
"Awww, sorry, no vex, I tell that mumu Osy say make he no loud am" She said
"No oo, I no vex"
"Na why you be my person, abeg no tell anybody wetin you see, I use God beg you Papi abeg" She pleaded, why was she pleading, who was I going to tell? How was I going to tell it?
"Eky, who I wan tell? How I wan take talk am?... Wetin concern me" I answered
"My Papi, no worry I go settle you" She said I she left.
The rest of the day was spent taking care of Madam's dogs, preparing for Madam's Niece's arrival & lazying about. Night came, I had dinner, took my bath & settled in for my routine movie watching exercise, Ekaette was still in the kitchen, cleaning the whole house & cooking wasn't an easy job, I felt like assisting, so I got out of bed and went to the kitchen
"Ahn ahn Papi, what are you doing here?" Ekaette asked
"I just say make I come help you" I replied
"You sure Papiiiii?, or you come use style look my bumbum" She said, smiling and wiggling her behind.
"No ooo, na to help oo"
"Okay, thank you, don't do anything, just stay with me, I go soon finish, then we go go watch film"
"Okay" watching film with Ekaette didn't sound like a bad idea, it would be much better than the way we used to watch movies back in the yard with those yardists- I didn't miss them one bit, not even my Uncle and his family.
When Ekaette was done, she insisted we watched some movies she had & also insisted we watched at her apartment, I agreed, she put the movie and excused herself 'cause she needed to bath, bath done, she came out tying a very short towel. One thing led to another & something happened. If this were a movie, "I had the time of my life, and I never felt this way before and I swear this is true and I owe it all to you" should be the soundtrack for that scene.
Really wish I could go into details of how stuff happened, but I won't want your bodies responding to written stimuli. Madam's niece will be here soon.
Good Night!!!
A quick bath, then I made for the kitchen, the only thing on my mind was food, and Ekaette sure knew how to make her way to a man's heart through his belly.
"Ahn ahn, Papi, you sure say you baff so abi na rub & shine you do?" Ekaette asked
"Hahaha, but I no fall inside soakaway, why I go tey inside bafroom" I replied, then she laughed, there was something sweet about the way she laughed, it looked like all her body laughed along with her
"Papi, you be case, I swear... Oya sidon, make I serve you"
"What's for breakfast?" I asked
"Wait, make I serve you, you go know"
She served the food and I must say, the word "sumptuous" was an understatement, the meal was Semo with extra-rich edikankong (pardon the spelling, the language itself is sweet, but hard), the food was so good that it deserved my undivided attention, and undivided attention did it get, even my ears gave the food more attention than to what Ekaette was saying, infact whatever she was saying sounded like- "Weeen ween weeeen, ween weeeeen" and throughout the meal, my response was just an intermittent "uhn", ask me what she said, I didn't know, meal done, I was too stuffed to even stand, so I just sat there, then Osy came in.
"Papi, how far, na you on gen yesterday night when Nepa carry light?" Osy asked
"Yes" I answered
"You wan dey do pass yourself abi, why you no wait make I on am or come call me make I on am" Osy with his usual blabbering, the mumu that was making crazy sounds in his room when I wanted to tell him to turn the gen on. I was even to stuffed to say anything to him
"Osy, anything do the gen?" Ekaette asked him
"No, but why he no take permission?" Osy answered, you people see why I called him a mumu.
"Permission to on gen Osy? Mbok you get sense at all?"
"You don dey take him side again abi, una don forget say Madam put me in charge, so gats know every every for this house" Osy replied, I didn't even have his time at all
"Osy, oya carry your food dey go" Ekaette said, Osy carried his food then stared at me
"Una two dey plant coup abi, my military instincts no dey fail me, I don dey suspect una tey tey- I ga ma eyes on you" Osy said
"Olodo, plant coup ko, harvest coup ni" I replied him, Ekaette burst into laughter, I stood up
"If no be this food wey I carry, I swear to God, I for deal with you today" Osy said, while hurriedly making for the door as I walked towards him.
"Papi, leave him, na agbaya, let's continue our gist" Ekaette added, it wasn't like I wanted to do anything to him anyway. We talked and talked and talked and talked, I found out she was an OND holder, what I didn't understand was how & why an OND holder would end up as a maid, well she said she was an orphan, Madam picked her up from the streets and trained her from secondary school up to her tertiary education, I asked her why she wasn't working, she said she had tried different places, but that the pay plus the stress wasn't worth it, she said what Madam was paying her was better, she could save to further her education since she didn't have responsibilities and all- (I know, this is boring gist, It's even boring me sef)
Ekaette asked me a very strange question, one I never anticipated, of all things to ask me- Papi
"Papi, where's your girlfriend" She asked, I had been asked all manner of questions before, but this particular one felt weird- "where's my girlfriend?" First off, who/what was a girlfriend?
"Girlfriend?" I repeated
"Ehnn, your girlfriend, abi you no get?" She asked again
"I no get" I replied, I had never thought about it, I had seen a lot of romance movies, but the thought of being in a relationship had never crossed my mind, 'cause I had no idea what people in relationships did (Don't blame me, blame my naivety), movies said people in relationships fight & kiss, just like they said there was superman -sigh- so, no believing the movies.
"Papi, big boy like you, why don't you have a girlfriend? Abi you dey lie give me ehn?" Ekaette
"Seriously, I no get, I never even get before" I replied, the look on her face was that of bewilderment
"Wait o, so you never do before?" She asked. "Do" do what? What did she mean?
"Do?" I repeated
"Yes na, you know, do" she made gestures I didn't understand, finger in hole like she was communicating to the deaf & dumb, then forward-backward movement of her waist like it was a dance or perhaps aerobics (Like I always say, don't blame me, blame my naivety)
"I don't understand" I replied, and that was the honest truth.
"Papi, mbok why you dey do like small pikin, like say you never touch woman before, abi you be virgin?" Ekaette queried.
Were guys too called "virgins"?, I thought only females had that title (If you as much as laugh at my naivety or stupid ignorance, I'll go spiritual on you).
"Eky, I never touch woman before" I told her bluntly, she paused, looked at me, then shook her head.
"Wow" was all she could say, at that point, the food was taking it's toll on me, sleep was inevitable.
"Eky, thank you, make I go sleep small" I said as I made for the door
"Papi Papilo, oya na, we'll talk later" Ekaette answered.
Once on my bed, I thought about my discussion with Ekaette, I got to the "Do" part, then a puzzle began to form in my head, the previous day Osy had made a statement about Ekaette doing me, he had also said she would come back to him, wow! Could they be doing each other?, I drifted to dreamland and in the dream, There was a party & Ekaette had this provocative dance steps, the music in the dream was so loud that even when I opened my eyes, I could still hear the music, wait!!!, there really was loud music and it was coming from Ekaette's room, it was unusually loud & disturbing, I got out of my apartment and went to Ekaette's, the door was open, so without knocking I entered and I met the most unusual sight I had ever -scratch that- never seen in my life, the beautiful Ekaette with her buxom body was naked and performing some kind of exercise on Osy, and the bed was making one rhythmic sound while Osy was making that weird sound. Ekaette looked at me and I wasn't sure if she was shocked or surprised, I just went straight to the entertainment system and turned down the volume of the music, I looked at them, they had stopped whatever they were doing & were just staring, Osy panting like a dog.
"Continue what you were doing" I said to them as I left her room.
It all made sense, the sounds from Osy's room yesterday night plus Osy's statement about Ekaette coming back to him, it all added up. At least now I understood what "Do" was.
The image of Ekaette's naked body would forever be in my mind, first I thought about her body, then I pictured her with Osy, I erased Osy, next I replaced Osy with Ekaette, I smiled at the thought, then another part of my body nodded in approval, that was queer, that part of my body only nodded when I woke up, I shrugged, body probably reacting to something.
Minutes later, Ekaette was in my room.
"Papi, my person, the music wake you abi?" She asked
"I been dey dream say you dey dance to the music, I come open my eyes dey hear the music" I replied
"Awww, sorry, no vex, I tell that mumu Osy say make he no loud am" She said
"No oo, I no vex"
"Na why you be my person, abeg no tell anybody wetin you see, I use God beg you Papi abeg" She pleaded, why was she pleading, who was I going to tell? How was I going to tell it?
"Eky, who I wan tell? How I wan take talk am?... Wetin concern me" I answered
"My Papi, no worry I go settle you" She said I she left.
The rest of the day was spent taking care of Madam's dogs, preparing for Madam's Niece's arrival & lazying about. Night came, I had dinner, took my bath & settled in for my routine movie watching exercise, Ekaette was still in the kitchen, cleaning the whole house & cooking wasn't an easy job, I felt like assisting, so I got out of bed and went to the kitchen
"Ahn ahn Papi, what are you doing here?" Ekaette asked
"I just say make I come help you" I replied
"You sure Papiiiii?, or you come use style look my bumbum" She said, smiling and wiggling her behind.
"No ooo, na to help oo"
"Okay, thank you, don't do anything, just stay with me, I go soon finish, then we go go watch film"
"Okay" watching film with Ekaette didn't sound like a bad idea, it would be much better than the way we used to watch movies back in the yard with those yardists- I didn't miss them one bit, not even my Uncle and his family.
When Ekaette was done, she insisted we watched some movies she had & also insisted we watched at her apartment, I agreed, she put the movie and excused herself 'cause she needed to bath, bath done, she came out tying a very short towel. One thing led to another & something happened. If this were a movie, "I had the time of my life, and I never felt this way before and I swear this is true and I owe it all to you" should be the soundtrack for that scene.
Really wish I could go into details of how stuff happened, but I won't want your bodies responding to written stimuli. Madam's niece will be here soon.
Good Night!!!
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