New Year Skit.

12:00am 1/1/2015
It was going well, I was at the crossover watch night service (if you dare correct me, it's a new year, so I'll just smile and bless you), after the normal shouts of "happy new year" coupled with the hugs, handshakes & back pats, I believed the next thing should have been thanksgiving, the grace, then home-bound, I had plans, plans to give my church crush a very warm after-service heartfelt message of love & even offer to take her out and spoil her silly, but the Pastor said he wanted us to pray just two prayer points- only two, that was good enough or it was good enough till two prayer points became ten prayer points, okay, we finished praying, then another Pastor came up to collect the offering, "yes, at least after this, we'll say the grace and proceed with my plan" I thought to myself. After the offering was done, the previous Pastor came back to the pulpit, perhaps to lead "the grace", alas! he started his speech, five minutes became ten minutes, ten became fifteen minutes, then I fell under the anointing- that's right, the anointing of power napping in church, you all need to experience that sometime. I heard a boom from the speaker and jumped with a start, and started praying fire prayers rigorously, then my ears heard
       "....be with us now and forevermore" I opened my eyes and looked, half the church had already left, the rest looked at me obviously bewildered by my drama, then I remembered I had a plan, I turned round to look at my crush, she was not there, I went round the whole church and checked the offices- she had gone, feeling sad & dejected I went home.

It was already 2:30am, pyrotechnics everywhere, the smell of carbide in the air, I scowled at the way people derived joy from burning money that resulted in noise, then I heard police sirens, damn!!! Now it's so difficult to differentiate between bangers and gunshots, got home in one piece, wished my family a merry new year, then made for my room, I was too sad and hungry to stay awake, what kind of evil sleep made me miss my crush in church ehnnn, today of all days -sigh-
I adjusted my pillow and could barely sleep because of the noise from them bangers, That's how I kept tossing and turning till sleep pitied my condition. In my sleep I dreamed, I saw my crush and I, I was preparing delicacies for her, and while we were gisting in the living room, she kept commenting about how sweet the aroma was, the aroma was indeed sweet, so sweet that I could perceive it real life, wait a minute, the aroma was no dream, it was indeed real life, I opened my eyes, looked around to be sure I wasn't dreaming in a dream, the aroma was too real to be a dream.
      "Booyyyaakkkaaa!!!" I shouted as I dashed into the bathroom to brush and bath, you need to see the way I was singing praises to God and dancing shoki, after the bath, I dressed and went to the kitchen, with each step to the kitchen, the aroma became stronger, I got to the kitchen- empty, pots empty & squeaky clean, this had to be a joke, oh! It must be the second kitchen I tried to assure myself, got to the second kitchen, it was even emptier than the first -sigh-, turned out it was the neighbor's from over the fence.
Why does life have to be so unfair???

                      MERRY NEW YEAR!!!